I’m # 3!

This is one of those situations that hammers home how “not caring” is so attractive. A (girl) friend of mine wanted to hook me up with a divorcee gal who’s my age (41). I’ve lately had success with younger women but I thought “sure, why not?”

So my friend laid the groundwork and said I should connect with her on Facebook. I looked at her pictures and wasn’t that impressed, so I delayed. Then a couple days later she (hereafter HB41) friended me. We traded email and I was kind of slow to respond, partly because I was thinking I didn’t want to actually meet her. In the middle of this I suddenly had to fly home to see my dad because of an illness. While I was there she sent me a “Are you rejecting me?” email and I hastily apologized, explaining the situation.

Once back home we agreed to meet for lunch in a neighboring town. Backstory: she suggested we meet on a Saturday. And I said “Meet me at noon at [redacted] in [redacted].” For most of my life I was so chodey about first dates: “well, where do , you want to go?” Now I just tell her where to meet me and leave it to her to raise objections, which she never does. I can’t believe I didn’t understand this basic fact for so long.

So I meet her there and it turns out she’s a lot hotter than her pictures. Smoking body. Petite. Just my type. So we have a great lunch and I bounce her for a walk down main street, then to a coffee shop. We sit there for a while building comfort, then I walk her to her car and get a small kiss. We agreed to meet again on Tuesday.

In the interim we do a little chatting online. I tell her I’m psychic and can read her mind. I do cold read over chat. I tell her she’s a perfectionist who’s super organized and kind of anal retentive. I was right. (How do I know this? Because her chats are all grammatically correct. No lowercase, perfect punctuation etc.)

Next day we meet at a bar and I immediately embrace and kiss her lightly. We sit and have a couple drinks, lots of kino and comfort-buildilng. Then we bounce to another place nearby which has a really cool downstairs bar. We go down there to the lounge area and I escalate. I reminder her that I’m psychic and make a big show of putting my fingers to my temples. Then I tell her she wanted to sleep with me tonight. “Why do you think that?” “Because you’re wearing sexy lace panties.” (I had felt them with my fingertips earlier.)

There was another group sitting close by and somehow they got involved in the conversation. She asked them if she should go home with me tonight. Light-hearted conversation about how many dates should you do before sleeping together etc. I pushed her a little to go home with me but no dice. Which was just as well because I had to get up early the next morning. (I think I might even have said that to her).

Date #3. Simliar situation. We go out to a nice restaurant, lots of kino and then she comments that we should walk off the food we ate. So I say sure, there’s a park right next to my place. We drive there, go for a nice walk, then in to my place.

We’re making out on the couch and she’s clearly turned on. So she “goes there” and says she wants to go back on the pill and can I wait two weeks? (Remember: she and I grew up in the pre-safe-sex era, so we’re not as as used to condoms.) I say sure, whatever. From that point forward I went the push-pull route. We’d kiss for a while, play with her tits etc. then I’d get up to get a glass of water, or change the music, or check on my dog.

An hour later we were going at it like rabbits. She told me she was impressed that I didn’t push her. The truth is, I didn’t really care if we had sex. I could see she was attracted to me and that as long as I stayed confident and kept my mouth shut, I would eventually nail her. (The mouth shut part is important: I have a tendency to bring up Game stuff a little early. She kept telling me I was a player and I kept saying “Aw, shucks. I’m just a farm boy.”)

Anyway, the most interesting thing about this is I was only her third sex partner! She was married for 14 years to the guy she lost her virginity to. Last summer she slept with another guy, but it took weeks to get her in the sack. She kept telling me how unlike her this was to sleep with someone on the third date. Whatever. She was quite good in bed, so…

We went out a few more times and I really liked her, but I could tell I wasn’t going to fall in love and did not want to be her boyfriend. So I told her I would continue seeing other people and that if that bothered her, we probably should stop dating. She cried, but thanked me for my honesty. We still keep in touch.